emotional intelligence

_{Artwork Tittle – Real Vibes Only.}

Everything happens for a reason
Look on the bright side
Don’t be so negative
And my personal favorite, positive vibes only

I’m certain we’ve all heard these phrases from others and said them to others as well as our ourselves. While these generic statements if practiced would probably help ones demeanor, to have a sunnier disposition all the time, is not always realistic.

I love people who have a naturally positive attitude, and I like to think I do too. However, there is a false narrative around always being in a state of love, light, positivity, and constantly believing that you have to be in a “good/high vibe” all the time to be spiritual or to evolve. I have encountered some who seem to be forcing it, constantly, to the point it just doesn’t feel authentic, or even inappropriate at times. It’s what people refer to as Toxic Positivity. However, I prefer calling it inept positivity to toxic positivity because these things are said to be helpful, not hurtful.
Sometimes we’re saying them to ourselves, sometimes we’re hearing them from others. They come from a good place, they’re supposed to help us get through difficult times and offer perspective. Being positive is definitely a beneficial outlook but it’s not healthy or real to force positivity all the time.

Our emotions are like the weather and an indicator of what’s going on in our lives and what needs attention.

I’m all for good vibes, but not when it invalidates the full range of human experience, which is not always going to be positive. It’s a form of internal denial when done by self, and feels like an external coercion when done by others. It is wisdom understood wrongly. We experience a range of emotions and those are important. Our emotions are communicating messages to us. Ignore them at your peril.

It’s normal not to be able to ‘fix’ a situation for yourself or for others. It’s normal to feel bad even though others have it worse. Your emotions are about your life. You have to stop suppressing and bypassing your emotions. Think of it as sweeping it under the rug mentality. You’re not dealing with but hiding it. It’s going to resurface sooner or later. Avoidance isn’t healthy. It impacts the subconscious whether you realize it or not.

There is an opportunity in every experience.

Instead of resisting what is, look for the opportunity. What is being shown to you right now? What is in your current reality? What experiences, patterns, cycles keep being repeated in your life ? Instead of bypassing your emotions, dive into your shadow. Dive into yours depths where you will gain awareness and begin to transcend yourself. It’s not up to others to dictate how or what a person should feel. No one is obliged to dismiss their emotional experience. If yours is all sunshine and rainbows, that’s super, for you. But projecting that onto others as the bench mark of enlightenment won’t do any good to them even if your intentions are to help.

The height of conceit is to dismiss the experience of others or to imply their failures, stress, loss and other experiences would all be resolved if they’d be more like you. It’s also not helpful to others when we demand positivity, or continuously push them to “look on the bright side”. The intention may be good but it minimizes their experience if we don’t allow them to express their true feelings, and process things in their own time and way. This manifests in inept positivity.

I had to overcome my sunny disposition, mind over matter teachings to admit that when I am not feeling it I cannot just google quotes written on an aesthetically shot background and feel happy or motivated right off the bat.

I’m not always Love and Light and I don’t want to be expected to be so. It’s unrealistic. I allow myself down days. There’s no proper way to feel. You feel what you feel. It’s how you act on those feelings that matters. Being accepted when I’m sad, tempers my sadness, and allows glimmers of light to trickle in through the cracks. It’s important to stay positive, but it’s more important to find a balance between the positive and negative.

I dance to the gloomy sound of Darkcore as much as I appreciate the swirling melodies of Vivaldi.

All in balance. Acknowledge the shadow and embrace it. Just don’t let it take complete possession and imprison you.

-Vaishnavi Talkar

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Our emotions are like the weather and an indicator of what’s going on in our lives and what needs attention.
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_{Artwork Tittle – Empath Mermaid And The Voyager. (Inspired by Mariners Apartment Complex-Lana Del Rey.)}

I dreamt the other day. I dreamt of a world devoid of pain, people walking lightly on the grass beneath their feet, and nature requiting by casting its soft caressing breezes our way.

I realise it is rather naive to think of a world devoid of pain. No amount of love and hope we muster can transform the world alone.

Empathy is the ultimate healing we need.

Like a physical wound needs a band-aid, an emotional wound needs empathy. Empathy dives deep into a person’s wound, decoding it. Understanding from your own experience/trying to understand another’s circumstances is the first step to being an empath. Many of us are empaths or at least capable of empathising. However, most of us don’t realise it because tragically it’s not a skill we were/are taught in schools.

We all get by with a little help from each other.

Empathy is a superpower and even that is an understatement. Empathising with a person enhances a person’s resilience. You cannot take away a person’s pain neither do you have to dwell on it but you can help a person’s ability to cope with it. (This isn’t by any means a medical advice.)

Empathy doesn’t just include compassion towards others but compassion towards the self as well.

Be a friend to yourself. Be self aware, embrace yourself as a whole, work on self improvement, and accept things beyond your control. Sometimes, being an empath can feel overwhelming. Practicing empathy doesn’t mean you always have to be kind, patient, and ideal. Humans have a range of emotions. But learning to guide them is one of our greatest virtue. It’s easy to be deluded about the whats and the hows of empathy when being taught how to live as an empath is nearly non-existent in the society. It’s a skill that most of us can acquire and a skill that can be amplified.

If we teach children empathy as religiously as we indoctrinate them maybe then we can dream of a better world. Fostering empathy will bring the change we are all desperately in need of and hopefully the generation of empaths will revolutionise the world into a better one.

-Vaishnavi Talkar

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Like a physical wound needs a band-aid, an emotional wound needs empathy.
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